The first evening of Rabi’ul awwal, or the month in which Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, was delivered to this Earth, was extremely different from other nights. It was rainy throughout yet I felt heat coming from within my body. That night I had to take my inhaler a few times, while on other nights my breathlessness episode only went up to, at most, twice; none even. My plan to read and sing the salawaats — salutations to the Prophet, peace be upon him — was left a mere plan due to the recurring asthma attacks I encountered that night. I wondered why that night was such a tough night for me. My heart continued repeating a salawat, while my hands rubbed against my womb praying that nothing bad would happen to my baby.
Then came to me an idea that maybe, just maybe, the embryo I carry in my womb was about to be granted with the heavenly dress of life. Yes, LIFE! The most subtle form of energy encompassing the dead cells and organs of our body, giving them their strength to live and perform their functions in accordance to God’s Decree. The one which gives the brain its capacity to think and reason, hence mind emerges; the one which rewards the pumping heart its capacity to have emotions, hence becomes the feeling heart; the one which soon gonna give this small lump of flesh and blood its reflects and willingness to interact with the outside world — punching and kicking its mum’s tummy whenever stimulated; and so on.
Struck with the idea I felt extremely humbled, there I was, about to experience something of beyond this Earth, something magical, something heavenly (or at least I positively thought so), yet I had no knowledge, nor awareness on the details of how it was taking place, what happened first, second, third, and so on, who descended upon me to blow life into my womb, etc. All I could do was praying that all will be well.
I woke up fresh the next morning, showering from head to toe, hoping to welcome the blessed month of mawlid in the best purified state. Overwhelmed with blissful atmosphere in my home and the subdued weather outside, I picked up my Qur’an, my burdah book and a thick book of compilation of salawaats and qasida.
Unexpected, halfway through burdah recitation, again I felt extreme heat coming from within, giving me breathlessness, which only resided after I connected my heart with my spiritual masters (madad). Rested for a while, I continued the recitation after asr and again, similar evil energy attacked me. My husband apparently had experienced similar incident too after he finished his reading of Dala’il al-Khayrat.
Obviously, something bad was not happy with us reading those powerful verses. Nevertheless, all in all, it’s been a wonderful day for my family, getting immersed in the love of the Prophet, peace be upon him. I hope we will have more of such days.