Selflessness: A Son, A Husband & A Father who Takes Care Everyone

“I don’t think I could do all those.”

That’s just one simple reason why I admire my husband so much.

“If things were reversed, I wouldn’t be as patient, sincere, content, yet spirited as he is,” … another solid argument my mind formulates whenever our state of being, as a family, is questioned by the judgmental outside world.

Yes, my family is different from most others. While others would have the husbands as the breadwinners, mine is the other way around — I work and my husband does the house chores. I don’t mind. He doesn’t mind. We are perfectly happy the way things are. In fact, one thing I can assure you is that we might not be as happy if things were not as they are now.

Imagine the asthmatic, rather impatient and selfish me had to run around chasing my super active, pretty heavy young son to get him dressed up after bath. Or, perhaps imagine I mopped every room and hung clothes fortnightly. Or imagine I had to day in day out attend to my son’s nagging and play requests. Well, the easily bored, full-of-inspiration me would certainly be incapacitated, feeling dull and spiritless after a couple of weeks, months, or years of routines. How amazing mothers must have been, to put up with all these!

My husband, on the contrary, does not only have to attend to my son in all aspects — cleanliness, meals, plays and naps — he also has to serve his disabled mother, who stays in bed all the time, unable to clean and have her own meals by herself. Imagine that! And yet, he does it cheerfully, without a single complain, and still hasn’t failed to welcome me home or send me off to work with tonnes of love — preparing my warm bath, making me breakfast, asking if he could go out to get me anything in the eve, and million other extra things which make me happy and constantly in awe of him. Where does all his energy and spirit come from?

He always says that I’m his “wonder women”, or on another occasion he’d make me blush by saying that I’m his knight lady for standing up for our family in face of the judging world. Nevertheless, I honestly don’t think my admiration of all his good virtues is comparable to my day-to-day commuting between office and home, nor to my argument in defense of his virtues. I’ve already liked writing so much that being a corporate writer doesn’t constitute much of a stretch.

Imagine what he has to do every day. How many people he has to clean: himself, his mum and my son. How many people he has to feed: himself, his mum and my son. How many people he has to attend to: himself, his mum, my son, and me when I’m home. I wonder how he always manages to keep his spirit up, not feeling bored at home, nor with the repetitive daily routines. My son’s impromptu cuteness has no doubt helped improving his mood. But other than that, what else could have uplifted his spirit each day?

He always says that if we do things to purely seek the pleasure of God instead of for worldly benefits, no burden is too heavy to carry. In fact, nothing is a burden. Everything is a beauty. Nevertheless, being human, he does feel “sick” sometimes, especially when he’s really sick. Imagine him having to do chores despite feeling not well, while all he had wanted is to rest in bed. Yet, his never-complaining attitude has never made such issue significantly noticable that I’d be worried to leave him. Never.

Whenever I dwell deep into sadness, e.g. because of office politics, my husband tells me not to get immersed into such dark feelings and asks me to imagine if he’s the one who has such feeling. How would I feel? Wouldn’t I feel demoralised as well? Definitely! I couldn’t think of being able to keep my spirit up dealing with politics at work without having such a positive-minded husband who has never failed to encourage me to believe in myself and forget all trivial, worldly matters. How fortunate I am!

So yes, perhaps others would say bad things about my husband being a stay-home dad. However, while other families have their “super mums”, this unique mine has a “super dad”. Yes he’s home, and yes he doesn’t earn much, or at all, but to his mum, me, and our son, he’s one hell of a dad! We couldn’t and wouldn’t ask for more.

To all super dads out there, thumbs up!